The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can text with my tongue
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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