I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
