thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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