Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize