You smell like stripper and shame
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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