why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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