Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
