She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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