She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
