he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
