we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
