Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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