It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
