And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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