just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
