perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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