my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
