you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
