I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
