Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
