is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
