Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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