My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
