I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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