I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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