i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
