he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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