I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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