Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
