ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
