Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
