Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
