I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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