Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize