When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
