I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm always down for nudity.
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