sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
