Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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