Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
send nudes
from the living room?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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