I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
