We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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