i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
