he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
