Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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