Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
