Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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