I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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