I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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