There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
