pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm too high and old for this...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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