you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
