Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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