i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
