He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
