Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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