Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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