wat bout pragnant strippers??
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
