U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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