At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
