I bet he comes in French.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
