y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
